So you think you’re a Dom, but you’re only a boy…

Posted: October 3, 2015 in BDSM
Tags: ,

Excuse the paraphrasing of that Divine song, but a bit of a rant.

There is a difference between being dominant, and being A dominant. It is essentially the difference between a top and a Dom.

To be dominant, you’re taking control. To be A Dominant, you’re taking responsibility.

And therein lies the difference.

In my personal opinion, nobody can be A Dominant until they’ve had some life experience. To be able to take responsibility for someone else, you need to first take full responsibility for yourself. I hear many people in their early twenties say they are responsible adults, but when something goes awry, they are all too quick to place the blame elsewhere rather than take responsibility.

For different people, this would be different ages, as some mature earlier than others. For some, reaching their 30’s gets them there. For others, having a responsibility such as children, makes them grow up.

It would be easy to say something glib like it’s simpler being a submissive than a Dominant. But the truth is a submissive has to relinquish control, and there are few people who are able to do that from the outset. Though I would argue that a submissive could start at a younger age than a Dominant, they would still need to be of an age and experience where they know they are truly submissive.

I dare say, there would be many (young) people who would disagree, but I remember at 21 thinking I was all grown up, and a few years later realising how naive I had been.

Feel free to leave your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree.

 

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