Poisoning Relationships

Posted: October 28, 2015 in BDSM

Earlier, I was feeling low, so I busied myself in tidying up a web site I look after to keep my mind occupied.

Sifting through various things, I found something which reminded me of a relationship of a friend of mine. Ultimately, she discovered she’d been lied to. The lie had been maintained over several months, before she discovered it, quite by chance.

She’d said that there was something that made her feel uneasy; perhaps there was something in his body language which showed he was hiding something. 

There wasn’t just one lie, though it was the one lie that brought their relationship to an end. There were other ‘small’ lies along the way, which he tried to cover by blaming someone else, or making a joke out of it. But there was one rather BIG lie that had been kept, which had it been known initially, could have been a deal-breaker.

The problem is, if you’re finding out about small lies about insignificant things, then you can only question what other lies are being told.

Relationships are about trust, and this is truer in BDSM relationships, where one person is trusting the other with power over them, be it for just a scene, or for a whole life.

Lying within a relationship can not only cause feelings of mistrust within the relationship itself, but cause the injured partner to mistrust people in other parts of their lives, as well as later partners.

And the liars themselves may well have trust issues; if they can get away with it so easily, perhaps their partner can too, so they start mistrusting their partner, even though they are the one living the lie.

And worst of all, this poison can affect children. I was brought up in an environment of severe mistrust and deceit, which may go some way to explain why I place so much importance on integrity in those I choose to interact with, and also maybe why I feel so terrible when I am let down by someone; they may not have intentionally lied, but I’ve been mislead.

So if you’re serious about them, be honest with them. Otherwise, there’s no point.

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