Controlling behaviour

Posted: April 2, 2016 in BDSM
Tags: ,

There’s a public service advertisment currently running on British TV, as part of a campaign called “Disrespect Nobody.” It describes various types controlling behaviour which can be described as abusive. they amount to controlling behaviour.

Some might argue that the issues raised don’t apply to the BDSM community, but they are stilL every bit as relevant. The control within the relationship is (or should be) part of an understood and agreed framework between the Dominant and submissive.

So reading your partner’s mails, messages and texts, and determining who they can, and cannot talk to, is still abuse.  I have known of some ‘Dominants’ who have been overly controlling in this way, claiming it’s perfectly okay – it isn’t.

So what if it’s the submissive calling the shots – making demands on who the Dominant can, and cannot communicate with? I have seen such people described as ‘pseudo-subs’ by people more read on the subject than I.

This behaviour is described as ‘topping from the bottom.’

And it has very recently affected a friend of mine.

The irony is that these pseudo-submissive are usually the ones posting things about the ‘true‘ submissive nature, yet their behaviour goes against this.

And as much as someone may argue against anything I’ve said here, one thing is still true:

IT IS STILL ABUSE.

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