Anal sex study reveals climate of ‘coercion’ – The Independant

Posted: August 28, 2016 in BDSM
Tags: , ,

I saw this article, which although published in December 2015, has just appeared in my news feed.

It details the conclusion of a sudy across three sites in the UK that 16-18 year old girls are being coerced into “painful” sex. The article does go on to detail some of the issues that may arise from this, but also points out that the study was only conducted with teenage heterosexual couples, and so there is no information regarding coercion within homosexual relationships.

Although the word “painful” was used, it did go on to say that “… researchers do not deny that mutually pleasurable anal practises are possible…”

It also raised the possibility that although a partner consents to sex, it does not necessarily mean that anal sex has also been consented to, and therefore could be regarded as rape:

The researchers also found examples of non-consensual penetration either with a finger or penis in a ‘try it and see’ approach in the hope the girl would not stop them.

“Some events, particularly the ‘accidental’ penetration reported by some interviewees, were ambiguous in terms of whether or not they would be classed as rape (ie, non-consensual penetration), but we know from [one] interview that ‘accidents’ may happen on purpose,” after a respondent admitted telling his girlfriend that he had accidentally penetrated her anally, when in fact he had done it on purpose.

The overall view was that boys were wanting heterosexual anal sex as it had been “normalised” in the porn films they’d watched, and so expected it of their partners.

Although the study was only concerned with that young age group (and who knows how many younger that 16 partake of anal sex), I am pretty sure that the same kind of coercion goes on with older couples – even those over 30.

I, myself, have to admit that anal sex is one of the pleasures I enjoy. But I do point out that it is only with a willing partner. If someone is so against the idea, then it just won’t be pleasureable for either of us.

As always, it’s good to discuss limits and expectations; then there is no doubt as to where the consent begins and ends.

If one or both of you are new to it, always begin gently, with lots of lubricant (not spit – you have no idea how much lube porn actresses can go through, even for normal penetrative sex). A small vibrator or dildo first perhaps; fingers, but only if neatly cropped nails – no sharp edges.

A douche beforehand will reduce the likelihood of any unpleasant surprises; but we always wash thoroughly before any sex, don’t we…?

Most importantly, if the bottom is in pain, or really not happy about it, then stop. If you notice something wrong (e.g. bleeding), stop.

As with everything, it should be safe, sane and consensual; anything less is abuse.


The Independant’s article regarding the study: The Independant: Anal sex study reveals climate of ‘coercion’

  1. FervidM says:

    Not to mention, the second “passageway” is not voluntary or able to be physically controlled – you have to WANT it enough for your body to allow full penetration without any pain…the result of the willingness is almost erotically relaxing. I don’t think that kind of confidence and self awareness is just “present” in a young girl, and to be honest, is a tad disturbing to me to consider.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for writing this and helping to educate about anal sex and the societal constraints that make it so crap for so many people. I’m trying to clear up some of those preconceptions and pressures, and understand the psychology of my own anal sex, so maybe you’d be interested in what I have to write about 🙂


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